INTRO

For those of you leaving to join a hunt

The name of this album is "Back to Front"

And those of you staying the whole way through

The name of this song is...

 
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I HOPE YOU'LL STAY

I hope you'll stay and have a cup of tea

Oh I hope you'll play my monopoly

And I hope you'll do what the others do

So that when I say I love you

You'll say you'd love me to

Make that cup of tea like I said I would

Make that cup of tea like I know I should

And not to think what the others think

So that when you say you like me

I'll be so overjoyed

I'll take the unemployed

I'll give them all a job

They sure could use one, my God

Isn't it funny, no

A million out of work is really so good for nothin'

When you think that there should be jobs by the dozen

But as often is the case

Nothing ever seems to take place

 
And not to think what the others think

So that when I say I like you

You'll say you like me too

You'll say you like me too

That's all

 
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IN MY HOLE

Every time a bird sings

Every time a bell rings

I go berserk

I climb into my hole

And sit there like a mole

Playing with the dirt

Contradicting people who think of me as being

So soft and gentle

Very clean

 
I used to have a daisy

A purple one called Maisy

Stuck on my bed

It didn't bother me

Yet when the landlord, Freestone saw it he said

Take it out at once or evicted you must go

So here I am in my hole

 
Watching people pass me by

Each of them in their own world and me in mine

I've never bitten off any more than I can chew

Never wanted too

 
Every time a bird sings

Every time a bell rings

I go berserk

And as I've said before

I sit there like a mole

Playing with the dirt

 
Call it what you like

And by all means tell a soul

I'm very happy in my hole

 
Running round from time to time

Stopping only to unwind

Everything I have is mine

In my hole

Length about the width of a pole

Width about the length of a bowl

Hollywood style!

 
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CLAIR

Clair, the moment I met you I swear

I felt as if something somewhere

Had happened to me

Which I couldn't see

And then

The moment I met you again

I knew in my heart that we were friends

It had to be so

It couldn't be no

But try as hard as I might do I don't know why

You get to me in a way I can't describe

Words mean so little when you look up and smile

I don't care what people say

To me you're more than a child

Oh Clair, Clair

 
Clair, if ever a moment so rare

Was captured for all to compare

That moment is you

In all that you do

But why in spite of our age difference do I cry

Each time I leave you I feel I could die

Nothing means more to me than hearing you say

"I'm going to marry you

Will you marry me Uncle Ray?"

Oh Clair, Clair

 
Clair, I've told you before

Don't you dare

Get back into bed

Can't you see that it's late

No you can't have a drink

Oh, all right then but wait just a bit

While I, in an effort to baby sit

Catch of my breath what there is left of it

You can be murder at this hour of the day

But in the morning this hour

Will seem a lifetime away

Oh Clair, Clair

 
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THAT'S LOVE

Once in a while, out of the blue

I might appear somewhat rude

But don't be alarmed or get upset

Just say to yourself this I'll forget

And when I come home after being away

It might do me good just to hear you say

Darlin' don't move an inch, keep perfectly still

Now do with me what you will

 
Sometime ago before we met

I vowed to myself that I'd never let

No one at all ever tie me down

Never dreaming that I'd see you around

Now isn't it strange wherever you go

It's always the same with whoever you know

Which just goes to prove what I've been trying to say

Looking at you the way I do (that's love)

Promising always to be true (that's love)

Giving each other a helping hand (that's love)

Sharing each other's every plan, that's love

And in love you do

 
And isn't it strange wherever you go

It's always the same with whoever you know

Which just goes to prove what I've been dying to say

Holding you now the way I do (that's love)

Knowing full well you want me to (that's love)

Telling each other how we feel (that's love)

Knowing inside it must be real, that's love

And in love it's true

 
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CAN I GO WITH YOU

The day you came my way

I was such a fool to say

All the things I said about you just to make you jealous

But I've learnt my lesson then

Now I'm prepared to start again

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

 
Whenever you're around

All the boys I know are found

Trying to be the one to hold you by the hand

But I feel if it's O.K.

Only one thing I can say

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

 
Can I take you by the hand

Can I love you

Please tell me

Please tell me

Can I go with you

 
If you think I'm a fool

Let me tell you there's no rule

That can stop me wanting you

And I do, so help me

I won't feel like having fun

Till you say that I'm the one

So if I promise to be true

Can I go with you

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

 
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BUT I'M NOT

Don't you ever change your mind

Don't you ever be unkind

To me some say that (you're a fool)

Well I'm not

You might think that I'm a fool

But I'm not

 
If I take you to a dance

Don't let me catch you holding hands

With other boys

They think I'm cruel

Well I'm not

You might think that I'm being cruel

But I'm not

 
It's worth a little thought to think

Of how I fought for you

Even so you know I caught for you

Every bad dream you had and threw them away

There'll come a day

When I know you will say

All the things I said to you

Were the best things too

 
So don't you ever change your mind

And don't you ever be unkind

To me some say that (you're a fool)

Well I'm not, no no no no

You might think that I'm a fool

But I'm not

 
It's worth a little thought to think

Of how I fought for you

Even so you know I caught for you

Every bad dream you had and threw them away

There'll come a day

When I know you will say

All the things I said to you

Were the best things too

 
So don't you ever change your mind

And don't you ever be unkind

To me some say that (you're a fool)

Well I'm not, no no no no

You might think that I'm a fool

But I'm not

 
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OUTRO

I'm not quite finished yet

I'm not quite finished yet

I nearly am you understand

But I'm not quite finished yet

There's another side to go before I go

Thought I'd let you know

Thought I'd let you know

 
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I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU

Did you ever tell somebody you're in love

Like the way I'm telling you I'm in love

With you

Baby baby with you

I'm in love

I'm in love

I'm in love

I'm in love

love

love

With you

 
You can tell me how it feels to be loved

Only I can tell you how it feels to be loved

By you

Believe me baby baby by you

To be loved

To be loved

To be loved

To be loved

Loved

Loved

By you

 
Oh life can be short

Of that there's no doubt

However I'm not pushed for time

If you can't come out till

Round about nine

 
When that sun don't shine for me I won't care

Only sunshine that I'll need is waiting there

With you

Believe me baby, baby with you

Waiting there

Waiting there

Waiting there

Waiting there

there

there

With you

 
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WHO WAS IT?

Who was it that caught you falling

And put you back on your feet

Who was it that tripped you any way

(In order that the two of us would meet)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving you

 
Who was it that tried to kiss you

Despite a very definite no

And who was it that managed to succeed

(In getting it with your fist down below)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

 
You and me both feel the same

We even look alike

And like it's a bloomin' shame

That because we do

People think we're you

Know what I mean

 
Who was it that came to see you

When there was no one else in sight

And who was it that stayed over an hour

(And not as I'd expected over night)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

You, you, you, you

Who was it that caught you falling

 
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WHAT COULD BE NICER (MUM THE KETTLE'S BOILING)

Mum, the kettle's boiling

Daddy what's the time

Sis, look what you're doing

Can't you see the baby's crying

 
Tell your Uncle Tony

Helen wants to know

Did he get the letter

That she sent a week ago

 
All in all what could be nicer

Than two people young at heart

Looking forward to the future

That together they will start

 
When you think of all those people

Who are left out in the cold

All because they never dreamed that

They'd be written off as old

 
Mum, the kettle's boiling

Dad, 'ere what's the time

Sis, look what you're doing

Can't you see the baby's crying

Can't you see the baby's crying

 
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OUT OF THE QUESTION

One minute you say you will

And the next you won't

One minute you want me

And the next you don't

You're turning me upside down

Giving me the run around

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

You watch me

It isn't out of the question

 
One minute you're kissing me

And the next you're not

One minute you remember

And the next you've forgot

I don't like it one little bit

You're giving me the slip

Don't think that I don't know I do

Don't think that I won't go

If you want me

It's really out of the question

 
Between us we could have conquered Everest

Sailed empty handed around the world

But no you couldn't wait

You had to go make the fatal mistake

Of leading me on

You silly girl that was wrong 

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

You watch me

It isn't out of the question

 
One minute you're full of life

And the next you're sad

One minute you're marvellous

And the next you're bad

I don't like it one little bit

You keep giving me the slip

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

If you want me

It's really out of the question

 
I'm doing my best and I don't know why

I'm giving her a call and there's no reply

She's getting me down till I can't get up

She's giving me hell and if that's not enough

She's breaking my heart nearly every day

Not only in pieces but every way

I'm sorry of course but the fault is hers

I'm doing my best and I don't know why etc.

 
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THE GOLDEN RULE

I wouldn't be glad wouldn't be sad

I wouldn't be good if I knew that I could

And I hate to go

But I must you know

Duty calls

Niagara Falls

See it go down

As it falls on the ground

And gets up again

At the count of ten

I would like everyone here to repeat after me

Something of which I know nothing about

Namely that which I will tell you

(That which I will tell you)

 
I'm going to school breaking a rule

I'm going around in a pitiful frown

'Cause I didn't pass (came)

Bottom of the class (Oh what a shame)

Teacher was mad

So was me dad

Took off his belt

And without any help

Really hit me hard

Where I'd stuck a card

Thick I may be but a fool I am certainly not

Always remember the golden rule

When in no doubt get a card out

And while you're there how about

Fetching me one of those pneumatic drills

Boy I really love the sound that they make

So good for the pains and aches of life in general

Don't be such a miser

At the most a fiver's all you pay

 
Many's the time

I have wondered about what it is

I want you all to repeat after me

Something I know you know I know

(Something I know you know I know)

 
I wouldn't behold wouldn't be cold

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my

Dear old mum and dad

And the fun they had

Early one night

Dad put out the light

Got hold of me mum

Said he wanted a son

And as you can see

The result was me

Somebody told me once money does not grow on trees

Well if that's true then how do you explain

Apples oranges and lemons

Not forgetting melons

 
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I'M LEAVING

Living in a town that's on the brink of being a city

Won't satisfy my soul though the women may be pretty

My mind is made up

I have had enough

I'm leaving here today

 
Shops, walls, pavements, streets

Is all that I could find

From head to foot and toe to eye

I looked till I was blind

No matter what turns up

I'm leaving here

This place ain't good enough

 
You might think that I'm being funny

Just 'cause I won't spend my money here

Well let me tell you I have no objection

Except that I can find correction

Everywhere I go

 
Jump high in the sky unless you're feeling bitter

About walking down an empty street

With gutters full of litter

My mind is made up

I have had enough

I'm leaving here today, hey, hey

I'm going away

 
You might think that I'm being funny

Just 'cause I won't spend my money here

Well let me tell you I have no objection

Except that I can find correction

Everywhere I go

 
Jump high in the sky unless you're feeling bitter

About walking down an empty street

With gutters full of litter

My mind is made up

I have had enough

I'm leaving here today

My mind is made up

I have had enough

I'm leaving right away, hey, hey, hey

I'm going away

Getting out of this place

I know I've said it before

But this time I mean it

I'm leaving

Packing my bags and going away

Getting out of this place

 
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OUTRO

I'm almost finished now

I'm almost finished now

As I start fading

You'll hear me saying

I'm almost finished now

I'm almost finished now

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All lyrics and music by Gilbert O'Sullivan