DISAPPEAR

I was asking for a drink last night

Never noticing that things just weren't quite right

But the bartender said you look queer

So disappear

Before I realised what I'd be through

A girl came up to me and said "I love you"

But I whispered gently in her ear

To disappear

What is wrong with everyone in this town

That's what I am asking me

And to my reply it's bound to be

Something I'll never forget

Left alone once this will happen again

But if it did, I'd know right there and then

I would pack everything I have here

And disappear

MR. MOODY'S GARDEN

Every day's a holiday in Mr. Moody's garden

Where little girls say pardon and how do

You do my name is Nosey and this is me sister really (really)

Good she is at saying Choo Choo

Now just across the lawn is Pat

Sitting on his favourite hat

Waiting for the barber to arrive

And if he doesn't come today

Pat will shout (hip hip hooray)

Ain't it grand to be alive

When every day's a holiday in Mr. Moody's garden

Where little girls say pardon and how do

Ye do my name is Nosey and this is me sister really (really)

Good she is at saying Choo Choo

Now lying on the garden fence

Is a man (at great expense)

History tells us will outgrow his youth

But only until such a time

He finds out why he's been lying

And then of course he'll tell the truth

'Cause every day's a holiday in Mr. Moody's garden

Where little girls say pardon and how do

Ye do 

Now down among the Partridge trees

Lives a "Don" who loves his knees

So much so he's framed them in a jar

And if by chance one should escape

Then "to put on" must in it's place

Eat half a pound of shredded tar

'Cause every day's a holiday in Mr. Moody's garden

Where little girls say pardon

And Bill and Ben found stardom

While playing John Wesley Harding

Who looked just like Pierre Cardin's answer to

Choo Choo

INTRO

Ladies and Gentlemen

Allow me to present myself to you

On this my first L.P. debut

NOTHING RHYMED

If I give up the seat I've been saving

To some elderly lady or man

Am I being a good boy

Am I your pride and joy

Mother please if you're pleased say I am

And if while in the course of my duty

I perform an unfortunate take

Would you punish me so unbelievably so

Never again will I make that mistake

This feeling inside me could never deny me

The right to be wrong if I choose

And this pleasure I get

From say winning a bet is to lose

When I'm drinking my Bonaparte Shandy

Eating more than enough apple pies

Will I glance at my screen and see

Real human beings starve to death

Right in front of my eyes

Nothing old, nothing new, nothing ventured

Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost

Nothing further than proof, nothing wilder than youth

Nothing older than time, nothing sweeter than wine

Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind

Nothing I couldn't say

Nothing why, 'cause today

Nothing rhymed

This feeling inside me could never deny me

The right to be wrong if I choose

And this pleasure I get

From say winning a bet is to lose

Nothing good, nothing bad, nothing ventured

Nothing gained, nothing still-born or lost

Nothing further than proof, nothing wilder than youth

Nothing older than time, nothing sweeter than wine

Nothing physically, recklessly, hopelessly blind

Nothing I couldn't say

Nothing why, 'cause today

Nothing rhymed

UNDERNEATH THE BLANKET GO

I don't know if you've heard the news but I'm a boy

Who's got himself a problem so big it's no joy

You see I've something that people claim

Could bring me fortune and instant fame

A face so ugly you could hardly blame

Anybody here for saying so

I think I'll bury myself deep beneath the ground

And come up only when there's no one else around

And if by chance someone approaches me

And that someone happens to be a she

You can bet your life in time of worry

I wouldn't hesitate but to be that way

Oh why can't girls just look at me and smile

Instead of looking at me as though

I will turn my head and before I go to bed

Gaily underneath the blanket go

I've even wrote to Marjorie Proops, but she can't help

The best that she could offer me was disguise yourself

Well this I've done would you believe not twice

But more than once in fact I think it was nice

So much so when I'm inclined to hurry

I wouldn't hesitate but to be that way

THUNDER AND LIGHTNING

There's people who believe

That what we're to receive

Is meant to happen anyway

Then there're those who'll admit

That they're literally scared stiff of it

No matter what you say

Then there are those who'll astound

By simply being around to play

Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting

So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight

I was supposed to meet her at eight

Now I find it's gone eight

And I haven't done a thing

There's people all around me

People who have found me

Not very funny when I sing

A little song about the bad things

The weather can do

Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting

So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight

People running everywhere

There's not a soul who'll stay out there

And I don't think there will be tonight

But we've got to accept what's right

Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting (no, no)

So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight

I'm trying hard to remember

Was it last November

When I got caught under a tree

I stood there like a fool

Without so much as a stool

That I could sit upon to comfort me

I shudder at the thought

However I got out safely

Thunder and lightning ain't worth fighting

So lock yourself away or else face it all tonight

MATRIMONY

I've no wish to hurry you luv

But have you seen the time

It's quarter to ten and we're supposed to be there at nine

I don't think the registrar

Will be very pleased

When we show up an hour late

Like two frozen peas

Both now facing for the first time

Presently and past

Something that begins with M

And ends in alas

More than not complete disaster

Even from the start

What could it be

It's Matrimony

I know how you've dreamt about

Being walked down the aisle

But think of the money we'll save

And you'll see it's worthwhile

It won't please our mums and dads

But they don't even know,

Besides if they did what's the betting

They wouldn't even go

You and me are all that matters

Disregard the rest

Trust your soon to be old man

He knows what is best

Very shortly now there's gonna be

An answer from you

Then one from me

That's matrimony

I'm truly grateful for the little things in life

That have made me so glad

Every other hour that I spend with you

Is not in the least bit sad

Quite the opposite in fact

And if you don't believe me

Here's the proof

Ask me if I and I'll say "Aye, I do"

You and me are all that matters

Disregard the rest

Trust your soon to be old man

He knows what is best

Very shortly now there's gonna be

An answer from you

Then one from me

That's matrimony

Marriage the joining together of two people

For better or for worse

Till death them do part

Ole!

HOUDINI SAID

Doctor in love who is above

All others close to you

Is it the Queen is it obscene

Tell me I want you to

Oh I've often wondered what it is that incites

So many young people to take part in those riots

Where by all men in blue are the targets to destroy

Lady be good I wish you would

Meanwhile exclusively

Have I the right to print in spite

Of what your views would be

Concerning those matters of the utmost degree

The point being the question and the question being he

Who laughs first has a thirst to laugh longest

Has he?

Over there (over where?)

Over there (over where?)

On the wall (what wall?)

The one in the hall (one in the hall)

I can see (we can see)

Well you could have fooled me

Some take the attitude that life is a drag

They say and I quote "man it just isn't our bag"

But if that's where it's at why the hell don't they go

Houdini said to get out of bed

Was the hardest thing he could do

Yet when he's tied strait jacket plied

He's out at the count of two

It seems elementary my dear Watson I know

But think what would happen if for instance this show

That we're in should begin not one hour but two late

Over there (over where?)

Over there (over where?)

On the wall (what wall?)

The one in the hall (on in the hall)

I can see (we can see)

Well you could have fooled me

Over there (over where?)

Over there (over where?)

On the wall (what wall?)

The one in the hall (one in the hall)

I can see (we can see)

Could have fooled me

WE WILL

It's over now, you've had your fun

Get up them stairs go on quickly don't run

Take off your shoes the both of you's 

And leave them down outside the door

Turn the landing light off, no wait, leave it on it

It might make the night that much easier to be gone

And in the morning who'll be wide awake

And eating snow flakes oh as opposed to those flakes

(We will) we will (we will) we will

That afternoon we spend the day

With uncle Frank (remember?) and his wife auntie May

Well do you know since then I've received

Up to four letters all of which repeat the same, yeah yeah yeah

They say thrilled to bits, can't believe you came

We've relived it both over time and time again

And if there's ever a chance of even half

You might be our way would you promise to stay

(We will) we will (we will) we will

Yeah yeah yeah

Its not easy pretending that you cannot hear

Once you've suffered the affliction within

It's no use in an ending

To proclaim from the start 

That the moral of the story's to begin

On Sunday next if the weather holds

We'll have that game with I bagsy being in goal

Not because I'm good or because I think I should

It's just that well at my age I think standing still

Would really suit me best do we all agree?

Hands up those who do, hands up those who don't

I see well in that case

Will we please be kind enough

If not on Sunday, to go to mass on Monday

(We will) we will (we will ) we will yeah yeah yeah (we will)

NO MATTER HOW I TRY

No matter how I try

I just can't say goodbye

No matter what you say hey

Looks like I'm here to stay

No matter where I go

I don't know if you know

But everywhere we've been

I'm kept in quarantine

It's easy to see why

She's over six foot five

I'm only five feet two

Is there a tyre somewhere

That might take me as a spare?

Is there a bank in town

That might cash me as a pound?

Is there a place you know

Where I can up and go

It's easy to see why

She's over six foot five

I'm only five feet two

Is there a tyre somewhere

That might take me as a spare?

Is there a bank in town

That might cash me as a pound?

Is there a place you know

Where I can up and go

I remember our first anniversary

It was one of those occasions where believe you me

I would rather have been held ransom at the point of a gun

Then to suffer indignation for something I hadn't done

No matter how I try

I just can't say goodbye

No matter what you say

Looks like I'm here to stay

Looks like I'm here to stay 

ALONE AGAIN (NATURALLY)

In a little while from now

If I’m not feeling any less sour

I promise myself to treat myself

And visit a nearby tower

And climbing to the top will throw myself off

In an effort to make it clear to who

Ever what it’s like when you’re shattered

Left standing in the lurch at a church

Where people saying "My God, that’s tough

She's stood him up

No point in us remaining

We may as well go home"

As I did on my own

Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright and gay

Looking forward to well who wouldn’t do

The role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about God in his mercy

Who if he really does exist

Why did he desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed

Alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts

Broken in the world that can’t be mended

Left unattended

What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

Now looking back over the years

And whatever else that appears

I remember I cried when my father died

Never wishing to hide the tears

And at sixty-five years old

My mother, God rest her soul

Couldn’t understand why the only man

She had ever loved had been taken

Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken

Despite encouragement from me

No words were ever spoken

And when she passed away

I cried and cried all day

Alone again, naturally

Alone again, naturally 

'B' SIDE INTRO

Now that you've turned me over

Make way for a little surprise

For I'm not really a b-side

I'm a C with two capital Ys

And the name of this song incidently

Is the title of which you'll see

They've printed in capital letters

Just below the hole in me

GOOD COMPANY

My doctor told me if my headache gets much worse

The best thing that I can do is get myself a nurse

Let her give me the kiss of life and after that

You watch my headache disappear three seconds flat

And as you know, I don't really want you to go (no, no)

For I would much rather you stay with me

Be on hand when I need good company

The other morning I forget now where I'd been

Some fella cornered me said "hey man what's your scene?"

I told him frankly that I wasn't in a play

And that if I was I wouldn't give my scene away

And as you know I don't really want you to go (no, no)

For I would much rather you stay with me

Be on hand when I need good company

Altogether everybody turn and touch your toes

When I stop to give the signal

That's when I would like you

That's when I would like you

To go ooh, ooh

Muhammad Ali better known as Cassius Clay

Boy what a boxer he was and still is today

I had a go myself once thought that I was him

But unlike Muhammad baby I could never win

And as you know I don't really want you to go (no, no)

For I would much rather you stay with me

Be on hand when I need good company

Much rather you stay with me

Be on hand when I need good company

OOH-WAKKA-DOO-WAKKA-DAY

I want to tell you

I might as well do

About a girl I met back in May

Her name is Rita

And you should see her

When she goes

Ooh-wakka-doo-wakka-day

She's got a brother

Like any other

Who got his nose caught

Inside a gate

And when they freed him

It so relieved him

He just went

Ooh-wakka-doo-wakka-day

You wouldn't think to look at me

That I was strong but underneath it all

I really am

And just prove it why only the other day

I picked a needle up with one hand

Now up in Bradford

A chap named Radford

While taking part in a local play

Was intercepted and then suspected of going

Ooh-wakka-doo-wakka-day-ay-ay-ay

Who's that lady I saw you with?

It was not your wife

It looked to me suspiciously like

Someone I have never seen before in my life

Do...do...do

It's not surprising when

You come to think of it

Just what it is that makes people swear

You only have to sing the wrong bleepin' thing

And there'll be bleeping every bleeping where

Now if you love me

You're not above me

And if you don't well

What can I say

Except we'll see when

You come to tea then

You can go

Ooh-wakka-doo

Wakka-ooh

Wakka-doo

Wakka-ooh

Wakka-doo

Wakka-day

CLAIR

Clair, the moment I met you I swear

I felt as if something somewhere

Had happened to me

Which I couldn't see

And then

The moment I met you again

I knew in my heart that we were friends

It had to be so

It couldn't be no

But try as hard as I might do I don't know why

You get to me in a way I can't describe

Words mean so little when you look up and smile

I don't care what people say

To me you're more than a child

Oh Clair, Clair

Clair, if ever a moment so rare

Was captured for all to compare

That moment is you

In all that you do

But why in spite of our age difference do I cry

Each time I leave you I feel I could die

Nothing means more to me than hearing you say

"I'm going to marry you

Will you marry me Uncle Ray?"

Oh Clair, Clair

Clair, I've told you before

Don't you dare

Get back into bed

Can't you see that it's late

No you can't have a drink

Oh, all right then but wait just a bit

While I, in an effort to baby sit

Catch of my breath what there is left of it

You can be murder at this hour of the day

But in the morning this hour

Will seem a lifetime away

Oh Clair, Clair

CAN I GO WITH YOU

The day you came my way

I was such a fool to say

All the things I said about you just to make you jealous

But I've learnt my lesson then

Now I'm prepared to start again

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

Whenever you're around

All the boys I know are found

Trying to be the one to hold you by the hand

But I feel if it's O.K.

Only one thing I can say

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

Can I take you by the hand

Can I love you

Please tell me

Please tell me

Can I go with you

If you think I'm a fool

Let me tell you there's no rule

That can stop me wanting you

And I do, so help me

I won't feel like having fun

Till you say that I'm the one

So if I promise to be true

Can I go with you

If I promise to be true

Can I go with you

OUT OF THE QUESTION

One minute you say you will

And the next you won't

One minute you want me

And the next you don't

You're turning me upside down

Giving me the run around

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

You watch me

It isn't out of the question

One minute you're kissing me

And the next you're not

One minute you remember

And the next you've forgot

I don't like it one little bit

You're giving me the slip

Don't think that I don't know I do

Don't think that I won't go

If you want me

It's really out of the question

Between us we could have conquered Everest

Sailed empty handed around the world

But no you couldn't wait

You had to go make the fatal mistake

Of leading me on

You silly girl that was wrong 

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

You watch me

It isn't out of the question

One minute you're full of life

And the next you're sad

One minute you're marvellous

And the next you're bad

I don't like it one little bit

You keep giving me the slip

Don't think that I don't know

I do

Don't think that I won't go

If you want me

It's really out of the question

I'm doing my best and I don't know why

I'm giving her a call and there's no reply

She's getting me down till I can't get up

She's giving me hell and if that's not enough

She's breaking my heart nearly every day

Not only in pieces but every way

I'm sorry of course but the fault is hers

I'm doing my best and I don't know why etc.

WHO WAS IT?

Who was it that caught you falling

And put you back on your feet

Who was it that tripped you any way

(In order that the two of us would meet)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving you

Who was it that tried to kiss you

Despite a very definite no

And who was it that managed to succeed

(In getting it with your fist down below)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

You and me both feel the same

We even look alike

And like it's a bloomin' shame

That because we do

People think we're you

Know what I mean

Who was it that came to see you

When there was no one else in sight

And who was it that stayed over an hour

(And not as I'd expected over night)

It was me and I'll tell you why

Oh I did it because of my

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

Pure unabashed devotion to loving

You, you, you, you

Who was it that caught you falling

A FRIEND OF MINE

Good morning Mary Ann

And how are you upon this bright

And sunny morning

I hear your brother Ted

Got caught for speeding

But was let off with a warning

I hope he's learnt his lesson

And the next time he goes out will drive with care

It doesn't pay to drive too fast

All it does is make your life last shorter

I know you won't believe this

But it happens to be true

I am a loner

My only real companion is dog I'm very fond of

His name's Homer

He follows me wherever I go

And of course I do my best to feed him

It's not the easiest of tasks

When you consider unlike cats

They're broader

Do what you want to within reason

But remember take your time

Nothing stops for those

Who can't afford to wait

The best advice that I can give you

Is to hold on to your head

And as long as you are good and kind

You'll always be a friend of mine

And it's true to say that a good friend is hard to find

But I'd like to think that you are

A friend of mine

Good morning Sarah Jane

And how are you today

Tell me is that your mother

She looks a lot like you

Though come to think of it

You look like one another

It's funny how with likenesses

Most people have a difference of opinion

They said that I was like my dad

Now they say that I'm just like his daughter

Do what you want to within reason

But remember take your time

Nothing stops for those

Who can't afford to wait

The best advice that I can give you

Is to hold on to your head

And as long as you are good and kind

You'll always be a friend of mine

You'll always be a friend of mine

As long as you are good and kind

You'll always be a friend of mine

A friend in need is a friend indeed

You'll always be a friend of mine

GET DOWN

Told you once before

And I won't tell you no more

Get down, get down, get down

You're a bad dog baby

But I still want you 'round

You give me the creeps

When you jump on your feet

So get down, get down, get down

Keep your hands to yourself

I'm strictly out of bounds

Once upon a time I drank a little wine

Was as happy as could be, happy as could be

Now I'm just like a cat on a hot tin roof

Baby what do you think you're doin' to me

Told you once before

And I won't tell you no more

So get down, get down, get down

You're a bad dog baby

But I still want you 'round around

I still want you around

aye aye aye

I don't give a damn

And I'd like you if you can to

Get down, get down, get down

You're bad dog baby

But I still want you 'round

Once upon a time I drank a little wine

Was as happy as could be, happy as could be

Now I'm just like a cat on a hot tin roof

Baby what do you think you're doin' to me

Told you once before

And I won't tell you no more

So get down, get down, get down

You're a bad dog baby

But I still want you 'round around

WHERE PEACEFUL WATERS FLOW

When the world you live in

Really gets you down

When you feel a pain inside you

Starting to pound

And the girl you love

She doesn't want to know

Let an old friend as a Godsend

Lead you to where peaceful waters flow

And if the day you thought

Was drawing to a close

Just drags on and on till when

Only heaven knows

And the car you bought this morning doesn't go

Let an old friend as a Godsend

Lead you to where peaceful waters flow

There you'll find

Much to your pleasure

That you haven't got a care

All the worries you had in you

Are no longer there

Take my hand and I will lead you to a place

Where the sun will warm your heart

With all of its rays

And the sky at night

Has such a magic glow

It's a feeling unbelieving

In a land where peaceful waters flow

Where you'll find

Much to your pleasure

That you haven't got a care

All the worries you had in you

Are no longer there

Follow me and I will lend you to a place

Where the sun will warm your heart

With all of its rays

And the sky at night

Has such a magic glow

It's a feeling unbelieving

In a land where peaceful waters flow

Where peaceful water flow

Take me to where peaceful waters flow (I'll take you there)

Take me back where peaceful waters flow (I'll take you there)

WHY, OH WHY, OH WHY

Why is it you must be so very cruel to me

In order to me kind

Why when I hold you close do you insist your toes

Are being stood on by mine

Why when I kiss your lips do you astound me

Saying that you won't put your arms around me

No one should be that cold

Whatever I've done surely I've a right to know

Oh why, oh why, oh why

Why is it every time we visit friends of mine

You never want to go

Why when I'm feeling good you act as if

I should be at an all time low

Why after all these years we've been together

Must you behave as if we'd hardly ever spoken

Let alone met

It seems that you're happy as long as I'm upset

Oh why, oh why, oh why

Is it that you don't love me oh why

Have you just had enough of me oh why

Do I have cry myself to sleep

Seven days a week

Why in the name of God are you so angry

Could It be that you can no longer stand me

Tell me and I will go

You're breaking my heart just in case you didn't know

Oh why, oh why, oh why

CALL ON ME

When you're feeling blue

You don't know what to do

Just call on me

I'll make it worth your while

I'll always be at home

You'll never be alone

As long as I'm there with you 

By your side

Now when the moon is high

Above there in the sky

Just knock upon my door

And I'll be with you

No matter where you go

Just come and let me know

I hold your hand

And when alone I'll kiss you

With you I feel happy

When I know that  I'll never change my mind

With me you can be

Any hour (any hour), day or night (day or night)

Call on me girl, (call on me)

Anytime you like, like

So if you feel today

You'd rather get away

To someplace where you know

You won't be lonely

Just call on me and see 

How happy you will be

I'll make you feel 

You life's just for me only

With you I feel happy

When I know that I'll never change my mind

With me you can be

Any hour (any hour), day or night (day or night)

Call on me girl, (call on me)

Anytime you like, like

So if you feel today

You'd rather get away

To some place where you know

You won't be lonely

Just call on me and see

How happy you will be

I'll make you feel

You life's just for me only

And from all of us here

It's goodbye

I'll now hand you over to the 'A' side

I hope that you enjoyed my little 'B'

If you haven't well what can I say

Except I hope that you like the 'A'

If you haven't well what can I say

Except I hope that you like the 'A'

HAPPINESS IS ME AND YOU

When the evening is over

Put your head upon my shoulder

And I'll tell you something

I believe is true

Happiness is me and you

In a world so distorted

Where the worst is best reported

Love may be something

That will see us through

Happiness is me and you

There may be girls that I remember

Who've made me happy for a while

But none of them compare with you my love

How ever hard they all may try

If the bus that we're taking

Has for ages kept us waiting

What does it matter

Even in a queue

Happiness is me and you

There may be days that you'll discover

I'm not the man you think I'm am

But through it all we will recover

Without the aid of any plan

When the weeks turn to hours

And in June it's April showers

I'll tell you something

I believe is true

Happiness is me and you

Happiness is me and you

Happiness is me and you

TOO BAD

It's too bad you couldn't come

It's too bad you decided to stay away

(Too bad baby)

It's too bad you couldn't come

It's too bad I really thought you were okay

(Too bad baby)

You admit you were wrong

That you knew all along

Yet you still had the nerve

To go leading me on

It's too bad baby

But not especially for me

It's no good us going on

It's no good you trying to soft soap me

(No good baby)

It's no good I'm telling you

It's no good all we ever do is disagree

(No good baby)

What am I supposed to do

How can I forgive you

If you won't even bother

To tell me the truth

It's no good baby

But not especially for me

I wanna say I've enjoyed

All the night we've employed

And the pleasure it's given me

But I cannot except with the greatest respect

Anybody to two timing me

Do I make myself perfectly clear

It's too bad you couldn't come

It's too bad you decided to stay away

(Too bad baby)

It's too bad you couldn't come

It's too bad I really thought you were okay

(Too bad baby)

Said you'd be there at nine

Well I got there on time

But you didn't show up

Because you changed your mind

It's too bad baby

But not especially for me

Too bad for you and not for me

(Too bad baby)

And not for me

(Too bad baby)

Too bad for you and not for me baby

Too bad baby

Too bad baby

NUMBER 4

In the beginning

There was one

Himself had just began

Then along came number 2

The other way round is your clue

And after that came 3

Hee hee written by you know me

Now I'm not saying anymore

Except to tell you

That this is not number (1), number (2)

Number (3), or number (5) but number 4

Number 4

Number 4

A WOMAN'S PLACE

I may be old fashioned

So what if I am

I'm not any different

To any other man

I'm not one of those who

Look for blood from a stone

But I believe

A woman's place is in the home

Now I'm not one to kid you

You know it's not my style

I wouldn't want to hurt you

Not even for a while

I'm all for a woman

Who can make it on her own

But I believe

A woman's place is in the home

Mmm baby I believe

Yes indeed I do

A woman's place

A woman's place is in the home

Wonder what would have happened

Had a woman flattened

Rocky Marciano's nose

Would there have been

A change of views

Would women no longer be used

The way they seem

To think they're being

I know what you're thinking

And you've every right to moan

But I believe

A woman's place is in the home

Mmm baby I believe 

Yes indeed I do

A woman's place

A woman's place

A woman's place is in the home

A woman's place is in the home

A woman's place is in the home

A woman's place

A woman's place 

A woman's place is in the home

A woman's place is in the home

THE MARRIAGE MACHINE

There will be days

We'll be in each others way

Down each others throats

Like you wouldn't believe

But then who was it said

Married life begins in bed

And ends up somewhat disparagingly

You say to me that you love me truly

I say to you likewise I feel just the same

But then who really knows

When two people get that close

That their feelings to each other

Won't change

I'll kiss you and then I'll kiss you once again

And pray to God once we get married there (there)

 Just won't come a time

When we'll wish we'll have changed our minds

A problem to end all our dreams

I'll kiss you and then I'll kiss you once again

And pray to God once we get married there (there)

  Just won't come a time

When we'll wish we'll have changed our minds

A problem to end all our dreams

So there will be days

We'll be in each other ways

Down each others throats

Just you wait and see

But don't be upset

After all that's what you get

When you become part of The Marriage Machine

Part of The Marriage Machine

CAN'T GET YOU TO LOVE ME

I can mark time walk a straight line

Grab a mad bull by the nose

I can stand still on an ant hill

And not once get itchy toes

I can even for no reason

Be as nice as I am rude

But I can't get you to love me

I just can't get you to love me

What do I do?

I can stand up put my hand up

Where perhaps it shouldn't be

I can go down to a hoe down?

Have one hell of a yippee

I can also if you must know

Do whatever else I choose

But I can't get you to love me

I just can't get you to love me

What do I do?

All of my life I've been waiting

For a moment like this

And now that I've found it

You know something's amiss

Can't get you to love me

Can't get you to love me

 Can't get you to love me

What do I do?

Can't get you to love me

Can't get you to love me

 Can't get you to love me

What do I do?

I can tell tales hammer toe-nails

Write a letter to the Queen

I can easily and discreetly

Be as charming as obscene

When I feel light 

I can take a fight

But I know one thing for sure

I just can't get you to love me

I just can't get you to love me

What do I do?

All of my life I've been waiting

For a moment like this

And now that I've found it

You know something's amiss

Can't get you to love me

Can't get you to love me

 Can't get you to love me

What do I do?

Can't get you to love me

Can't get you to love me

 Can't get you to love me

What do I do?

ALWAYS SOMEBODY

Whatever you are, whatever you miss

Whatever you're thinking, whatever it is

Whatever you feel, and whatever you do

Remember there's always somebody

Worse off than you

Always somebody worse off than you

You know that there's always somebody

Worse off than you

DOING WHAT I KNOW

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know

And It's amazing when you think of it

How many people smoke

Despite the risks that are involved

There's really very little hope

Without them we just couldn't cope

Couldn't cope, neither could we

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know 

Doing what I know, doing what I know

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing 

But I always end up doing what I know

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know

Have you ever wondered

What would happen in a third world war 

No sooner would it have begun

Than it would be all over

Just look over your shoulder, your shoulder

It's above your knees

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know

And what I know, may not I know be a great deal

But what I know nobody can take

Nobody can take, nobody can take away from me 

No, no, no, away from me, no, no, no

I am doing what I know, doing what I know

Sometimes I think I don't know what I'm doing

But I always end up doing what I know

Away we go doing what I know

Away we go doing what I know

Away we go doing what I know

INTRO

Well, before we go any further, we agree

It's a pleasure to introduce Gilbert's L.P.

It's a pleasure of course providing we are paid

If not, we think it's the worst one he has made

Well, before I go any further let me say

That as far as I'm concerned you will be paid

And as Stanley said when he saw Livingstone

I presume the opening tune's

You got me going 

YOU GOT ME GOING

Now move a little closer baby

Don't stand in the road

There's such a lot of traffic about

You'll catch your death of cold

And as you can well imagine

What with your death on my hands

Nobody would believe me

They just wouldn't understand

Without you knowing

You got me going

Without your knowing

You got me going... (You got me going)

You got me going... (You got me going)

All the way

Now waiting for the bus to come

Is getting to be a drag

Time was when it used to get here

Dead on quarter past

Now its almost quarter to

And still it hasn't shown

By the time I get to your place

I might just as well have flown

Without you knowing

You got me going

Without your knowing

You got me going... (You got me going)

You got me going... (You got me going)

All the way

And I don't ever want you to think

That I'm the sort

Who has a woman waiting for me

In every port

I mean, as far as I know

I've never been to sea

Unless you count the time I went out

In it up to my knees

Without you knowing

You got me going

Without your knowing

You got me going... (You got me going)

You got me going... (You got me going)

All the way

And I don't ever want you to think

That for a start

I would ever do anything

To break your heart

You see, the bond we have between us is enough

To ensure when we're together

We are miles away in love

Now I'm not superstitious

But if ever I see a cat

The first thing that I do

Is check and see it isn't black

And if on close inspection

It turns out to be maroon

I'll breathe a heavy sigh of relief

And grab you on my broom

Without you knowing

You got me going

Without your knowing

You got me going... (You got me going)

You got me going... (You got me going)

All the way

MISS MY LOVE TODAY

Miss my love today

As I miss the stars that shine above

Telling me one day my love

Will come to me again

Miss my love I'd say

Is the only thing that I can do

I just can't live with someone new

Reminding me of her

She said before she left

That she would return to me

Although it may take quite a

While I know

That she'll come back

And once again the time

To fall in love will still be mine

Till then I'll wait in morbid company

Miss my love I do

Just as one would miss both day

And night

Waiting here alone is not right

But what else can I do?

Miss my love today

As I miss the stars that shine above

Telling me one day my love

Will come to me again

She said before she left

That she would return to me

Although it may take quite a

While I know

That she'll come back

And once again the time

To fall in love will still be mine

Till then I'll wait in morbid company

Miss my love I do

Just as one would miss both day

And night

Sitting here alone is not right

But what else can I do?

Sitting here alone is not right

But what else can I do?

FOR WHAT IT'S WORTH

I feel so strange here on my own

She's out with her friends

While me I don't have one

Every time I have some

She would make them all disperse

Yet I love her with all of my heart

For what it's worth

She said had I been more careful with her

We wouldn't have had to get married quite so quick

And she never wanted kids

Hates the thought of giving birth

Yet I worship the ground she walks upon

For what it's worth

I don't know what I can say

Perhaps it's just a passing phase

Nothing worse than being in love with one who isn't

If I've hurt her I'll admit

I'll apologize for it

Even if what she says I did, I didn't

I give her the bulk of my weekly pay

She takes it without even thanking me one bit

And I've worked hard for it

So a thank you wouldn't hurt

Yet I love her with all of my heart

For what it's worth

I don't ask for very much

I'm not one to make a fuss

In fact the less said is for me

So much the better

Maybe I should be more strong

Tell her straight look

"What's going on"

But if I do that, she might leave me altogether

Oh, I've been high up and I've been low

But lately the latter is so far out ahead

I wish I were dead

She treats me like I was dirt

Yet I love her with all my heart

For what it's worth

Yes I love her with all my heart

For what it's worth

Yes I love her with all my heart

For what it's worth

For what it's worth

WHAT'S IN A KISS?

What's in a kiss?

Have you ever wondered just what it is

More perhaps than just a moment of bliss

Tell me what's in a kiss?

What's in a dream

Is it all the things you'd like to have been

All the places that you haven't yet seen

Tell me what's in a dream

I know it's really rather stupid of me

But I honestly don't know

Every time I try to find a solution

I'm surprised at how quickly I become so slow

What's in a kiss?

Have you ever wondered just what it is

More perhaps than just one moment of bliss

Tell me what's in a kiss?

And any time you need a light refreshment

Baby you can count on me

I am your very own delicatessen

Well equipped to supply you with your every need

Well what's in a kiss?

Have you ever wondered just what it is

More perhaps than just one moment of bliss

Tell me what's in a kiss?

Tell me what's in a kiss?

Tell me what's in a kiss?

THE NICENESS OF IT ALL

It's the niceness of it all

Baby it's the niceness of it all

Whether you are close to me or far

It doesn't matter in the least

As long as I can be with you

Any time I need to

Like the baby that's just starting to grow

It's the niceness of it all

That makes me love you more and more

And it's the niceness of it all

Baby, it's the niceness of it all

That makes me write to you and say how much

I've missed you over the weeks

That makes me call you on the phone

Whenever there's a chance to speak

And even if there's only time to say hello

It's the niceness of it all

That makes me love you more and more

I don't know what's come over me

I've hardly touched a drink

My mother thinks it's marvellous

He's off the road to sin

She thinks you're just the tonic that I need

And who am I to argue after all isn't that what I believe

It's the niceness of it all

Baby it's the niceness of it all

If I can't be with you for a week then a day will have to do

I won't say that that's enough

But then beggars can't be choosers

And besides if nothing else at least I know

It's the niceness of it all

That makes me love you more and more

Every time I see a shadow I think what a blessing it must be

Not to have to talk with fingers

Not to have to look with nothing to see

You try living your life to the full confined to a chair

Try and hide your loneliness when no one is there

It's the niceness of it all

That makes me love you more and more

It's the niceness of it all

What I like

What I need

I LOVE IT BUT

I love it but it doesn't knock me out

I think it's great, but it could be better

I like it a lot, it's just not my cup of tea

Yet if you were to change the melody

Take out a part that you think should be here

Put in a part that wouldn't otherwise appear

Well it's only an idea

I hate it but that doesn't mean it's bad

In other words I quite enjoyed it

Apart from which, it's the best you've ever done

Yet if you were to change the words

It would be superb with perhaps a different melody

I love it but it's just a shade too long

Though to be fair you'd hardly notice

The only thing as I say is how it's done

Bits to me sound like it ought to have been sung

Not only in two part harmony but one

Making the whole thing really swing before it's swung

Walk instead of run

I love it, but it doesn't knock me out

No it doesn't knock me out

Yet it you were to change the words

It would be superb with perhaps a different melody

I love it but it doesn't knock me out

I think it's great, but it could be better

I like it a lot, it's just not my cup of tea

Yet if you were to change the melody

Take out a part that you think should be here

Replace it with a part that wouldn't otherwise appear

Are you getting the idea

I love it, I love it, I love it, but it doesn't knock me out

No it doesn't knock me out

No it doesn't knock me out

A MINUTE OF YOUR TIME

I've got a good position here, my boss is proud of me

He said so in a letter that he wrote the other week

My parents too are happy, which is nice

For without their encouragement I never would have tried

But now much to their horror, I've decided I might quit

What's the point of working hard when I can hardly live

The key to my survival lies with you

Don't ask me what you've got

I only know that while you do

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

I would gladly go with you anywhere

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

I'd be happy in despair

It's funny how our lives are mapped out in a certain way

Call it fatalistic if you want to that's okay

The point I'm trying to make is as a rule

An error on your part can be a costly one for you

But looking back how often have you thought, well I'll be blown

If it wasn't for that error, I'd be on a different road

Which leads me very nicely round to you

You know how much I love you and until you love me too

For a minute of your time a minute of your time

I would gladly go with you anywhere

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

I'd be happy in despair

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

Even though it may not seem that long to you

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

Even less for me would do

I don't suppose you'd ever think of moving in with me

Lots of people do it, it's quite common I believe

This may come as a shock even to you

But I'm the one who feels this way and here's what I would do

For a minute of your time a minute of your time

I would gladly go with you anywhere

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

I'd be happy in despair

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

Even though it may not seem that long to you

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

Even less for me would do

For a minute of your time, a minute of your time

Even less for me would do

BEAR WITH ME

I know that you've enjoyed all the good things money's given to you

And that to have to live without them is not an easy thing to do

You take great pride

In your appearance all of which is second to none

And I can understand how you're feeling when you see yourself growing old

The man you love is never there to hold

So bear with me just a little bit longer

Honey won't you bear with me

And I guarantee you that our love will grow stronger

Bear with me just a little bit longer honey won't you

Bear with me

I know I said I'd be back tomorrow without any further delay

And I know how you felt when I rang up and told you that I had to stay

You seem to forget that I'm doing everything in my power

To safeguard both our futures we cannot live on love alone

Gotta have more if we're to build a home

So bear with me just a little bit longer

Honey won't you bear with me

And I guarantee you that our love will grow stronger

Bear with me just a little bit longer honey won't you

Bear with me

Love Is the strangest thing as any song will tell

Just when you think it's heaven it turns out to be hell

You seem to forget that I'm doing everything in my power

To safeguard both our futures we cannot live on love alone

Gotta have more if we're to build a home

So bear with me just a little bit longer

Honey won't you bear with me

And I guarantee you that our love will grow stronger

Bear with me just a little bit longer honey won't you

Bear with me

All you gotta do is bear with me

WONDER WHY

Some say the right words, some say it's absurd

To think that children can brutally die

I say it's easy, so very easy

And all we do is wonder why

In spite of progress

You say we're making

In spite of wisdom stretching afar

We find solutions, always solutions

But none to mend a broken heart

Can't be in two places at one time

I can't even stretch my legs

Without someone pointing a finger at me

Saying you'd better stop or else

You are the kingdom, you are the glory

No doubt without you

I just couldn't survive

And yet it happens, oh when it happens

What do we do, we wonder why

Can't be in two places at one time

I can't even stretch my legs

Without someone pointing a finger at me

Saying you're too big for yourself

Some say the right words, some say it's absurd

To think that children, without food can die

I say It's easy, so very easy

And all we do is wonder why

I say It's easy, so very easy

And all we do is wonder why

Wonder why, just wonder why

Easy, so very easy, wonder why

SO WHAT

I was born and raised in Alabama

Well it sounds better than Leeds

Mama said the sooner you grow up

The sooner you can leave

And thus I came into existence

What else can I tell you

I could reminisce about the kiss

That really blew my mind

I could demonstrate how when I was eight

I celebrated nine

I could be young I might be old

I could be and if so

So what

Got my finger on the trigger

Whatever that's supposed to mean

Got my thumb caught in between the door

After which I screamed

It only hurts now when I suck it

What else can I tell you

Well its very sad to think you had

More money than good sense

Now you've lost it all you're back to call

On me you're oldest friend

I'm not a man who minces words

And if that sounds absurd

So what

Even if it's likely to become the flavour of the year

Demonstrating for the right to work is work that is sincere

There ain't no pride in being idle

What else can I tell you

Well I've been described as looking like a nothing of a man

Had my work reviewed by critics who dismiss me out of hand

They say I'm middle of the road

I say if that is so

So what

AT THE VERY MENTION OF YOUR NAME

At the very mention of your name

I get shivers down my back and in my brain

The parts that used to function normally

Are now as you can see

Acting very strange

At the very mention of your name

Don't know why but if I were tied up in chains

I would somehow be released

All problems too would cease

My heart would never feel no pain

At the very mention of your name

At the very moment you arrive

I stop living and I start to feel alive

You have the power that's taken over me

Led me to believe

Call it what you like

At the very moment you arrive

I suspect that I will pinch myself to find

That it really isn't true

It really can't be you

Walking up the garden drive

At the very moment you arrive

And although it's been said well over a thousand times

Here's a thousand more

Will you still be mine forever and evermore?

At the very mention of your name

What am I to do and who am I to blame

The effect upon my life can only be described

A bit like being hit by a train

At the very mention of your name

LOST A FRIEND

When you read about somebody special

Who has met an untimely end

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

And to all the cynics who think Lennon

Only cared about what he could spend

I say to hell with you and your money fixations

Feels like we've lost a friend

And when I die as I must do

I know it's an awful thing to talk about

And I'd give anything for it never to be true

What a way to make a living digging graves

Still you'd never need to fear being made redundant that way

And for those of you who think that Presley

Only cared about what he could spend

Remember that without him might have been no Lennon

Feels like we've lost a friend

And when I die as I must do

I Know it's an awful thing to talk about

And I'd give anything for it never to be true

If it's any consolation money buys

Only material things no way can it extend your life

When you read about somebody special

Who has met an untimely end

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

STICK IN THE MUD

Roll out the barrel bring in the beer

Hell bent for leather rousing good cheer

Don't let your best friend down

He wouldn't like it to be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one 

Right up this ladder write down this note

Dear sir or madam pardon my quote

And while we're about it please

Let's have no more of this carry on

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

And anytime I see your face

I'm reminded of a meal I once had

Boy it was really good to look at

But it sure tasted bad

Don't be a stuck in the mud

Hang out your window sit on your floor

Don't let it get up not like before

When it sat down on you

Who would have thought it could be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

And anytime I see your face

I'm reminded of a meal I once had

Boy it was really good to look at

But it sure tasted bad

Don't be a stuck in the mud

So roll out the barrel bring in the beer

Hell bent for leather rousing good cheer

Don't let your best friend down

He wouldn't like it to be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

IN A NUTSHELL

I'll may leave you for just a second

Just a second if that's okay

May last a little under an hour

All depends on how long I stay

Only when it's someone who's close does

Cancer hit you just like a bomb

Must be the only the disease on earth

Guaranteed to kill everyone

Watching and waiting, mistaking the pun

For one that was never intended

Once they assure you it's all based on fact

You can be sure it's invented

I've got nothing but for tomorrow

No no don't get me wrong what I mean

It's not that I'll will be without my clothes

But that if you want me well I'll be free

Wishing and hoping and hoping and praying

That it will soon stop raining

There's nothing worse than a cricketer's ball

Stuck in the mud complaining

I may wake up to find you sleeping

Not in your bed but mine I know

It's only a dream but what's wrong with that (ain't it)

Better than finding you on the floor (ain't it)

Better than finding you on the

For in my room there's someone's ceiling

 Not only that but there's someone at the door

Will they stop it well, I unlock it well

In a nutshell

I, I won't

HOLD ON TO WHAT YOU GOT

I've been over and I've been under

I've been through all kinds of hell

Trouble was not only my middle name

It was my first as well

Through the years all I've encountered

I've just one thing to say

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

I've been taken for far more rides

To places I've never been

Stabbed so many times in the back

I no longer feel a thing

Ask me what all this has taught me

And I'll tell you what I'll say

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Save it for a rainy day

And keep a watchful eye on anyone that tells you lies

See that it's true

You get what you're entitled to

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Save it for a rainy day

And keep a watchful eye on anyone that tells you lies

See that it's true

You get what you're entitled to

I was brought up same as you were

No different and no worse

You could be sure my mother would hit me

If I tampered with her purse

All my life has been a lesson

The most important to date

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

Hold on to what you got

And don't let it slip away

_{_________________________________________}

MY ADVICE TO YOU

Why do you hurt her

When she's in love with you

Please don't desert her

Is all I ask of you

You know it's wrong

You knew along

Do what I say and you can't go wrong

My advice to you is stay

Baby my advice to you is stay

Wait till tomorrow

And see what lies is store

If I've played my cards right

It'll be like it was before

When she loved you and you the same

I know she'll be glad to have you back again

My advice to you is stay

Baby my advice to you is stay

(Why do you hurt her)

(When she's in love with you)

(Please don't desert her)

(Is all I ask of you)

(You know it's wrong)

(You knew along)

(Do what I say and you can't go wrong)

(My advice to you is stay)

(Baby my advice to you is stay)

Can't help but thinking

That you're gonna see the light

And she'll be the one girl

To stand by you when things ain't right

So listen to me and keep your head up high

I promise you this I'm telling you it's no lie

My advice to you is stay

Baby my advice to you is stay

Baby my advice to you is stay

Baby my advice to you is stay

CAME TO SEE ME YESTERDAY

If I ask you politely

What it is you're going to be

When you grow up you tell me a woman

Came to see me yesterday

In the merry month of September

I took a trip to see

All the things I was going to be

A famous movie star

With a two hundred foot car

That will only carry two people

Came to see me yesterday

In the merry month of July

I'll  fly anywhere you want me to

Just tell me when and

You won't mind if I don't find

What I am looking for

What I am looking for

Is a bicycle made for one

Hundred people to sit on

Plus a carriage made for two people

Came to see me yesterday

In the merry month of July

I'll  fly anywhere you want me to

Just tell me when and

You won't mind if I don't find

What I am looking for

What I am looking for

Is a bicycle made for one

Hundred people to sit on

Plus a carriage made for two people

Came to see me yesterday

In the merry month of Marching

Side by side and back to back

I think it's fair to say that's that

BECAUSE OF YOU

There's never been a time like this before

'Cause when I'm not with you life is such a bore

Now if I feel lonely or I feel blue

I'll know it's because of you

You always tell me things that I want to know

Yet when you went away you never told me so

Now if ever there's a time I have nothing to do

I'll know it's because of you

I'll never see you again

And I know I'll regret it somehow

Can't say that I envy me 

I'm not exactly myself right now

I'll know it's because of you

I'll never see you again

And I know I'll regret it somehow

Can't say that I envy me

I'm not exactly myself right now

There's never been a time like this before

'Cause when I'm not with you life is such a bore

Now if I feel lonely or I feel blue

I'll know it's because of you

I'll know it's because of you

I'll know it's because of you

ARE YOU HAPPY?

You say you got a big house out in the country

With a ruddy great swimming pool

You say you got a lot of things I never had

That's true

But are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

When you get right down to the nitty gritty

Are you happy you?

You say you got boyfriends calling you up

Every other day of the week

And that you got more now then you could ever need

But are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

When you get right down to the nitty gritty

Are you happy

(You can find happiness)

(In a hole in your sock)

(You can be fully dressed)

(In a coat that's a frock)

(You can stand in the rain when it's raining)

(And not think it's not sunny)

You say you got a car parked out in the drive

That you've not even driven yet

And that you got another one

That you can use instead

But are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

When you get right down to the nitty gritty

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy you?

What about love

Money couldn't buy it and that's the crazy thing

When you've had enough of trying to deny it

Look what love can bring

Well are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

When you get right down to the nitty gritty

Are you happy?

(You can be who you are)

(Without having to prove)

(In a sense who you are)

(With attempts that are crude)

(Buying acres of land, that you won't even use)

(Is not the answer)

You say you got an Aunt

Whose cousin is married to a relative of the queen

And that you get invited to every social scene

But are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

When you get right down to the nitty gritty

Are you happy?

Are you happy?

Are you happy you?

HAVING SAID THAT

I think love is just a load of crap

But having said that

If you'd love me the way that I love you

I'd take it all back

And having said that

I don't give a damn about you now

And I'm not being sour

There's plenty more of you where I come from

On the hour, every hour

And I don't suppose you'd consider

Accompanying me out to dinner

Found this really cute little French place

The food they tell me is Greek

But then again if you're busy

I'll understand please forgive me

What's his name is it Dave?

Does he take you everywhere

I'll bet he's lousy in bed

Not like me

Oh I think women are completely daft

But having said that

How many of them do you ever hear

Get a heart attack

And having said that

Don't come running after me again

I'm not your friend

Liked you once about a week ago

But that was then

Never again

Of all the women I've loved

You're the first to make blood boil

All the others they would of course

Make it bleed

I don't know how to thank you enough

Can't stand the sight of blood

You see

You mean nothing to me anymore

So now you know

I had been thinking that for quite some time

I'd let you go

So now you know

And don't think that I don't mean this

Whatever we had between us

Is to the best of my knowledge

Now a thing of the past

But then again if you came up

With nothing on but your make up

Possibilities are

Out if the kindness of my heart

I might

For tonight

Let you in

I think love is just a load of crap

But having said that

If you'd love me the way that I love you

I'd take it all back

And having said that

SOMETIMES

Sometimes when I am lonely

And I need some love and care

Sometimes I feel I only

Have to call and you'll be there

Sometimes I wake up in the morning

With my hair down in my eyes

Sometimes I can look at you

Then I don't and then I do

Sometimes

Sometimes I get the feeling

You don't like me all that much

Sometimes I guess I'm being

Over critical of us

Sometimes you know 

How hard it can be

I can see it in your eyes

Sometimes I can play the fool

Doesn't everyone I'm sure

Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes I take exception

To the way we're criticized

Once it was because we had long hair

And now cause we've short back and sides

They never stop they always have to win

Ooh a parents reputation is based

Only on what the neighbours think

Sometimes you have the answer

Long before the questions put

Sometimes you are a dancer

Without moving either foot

Sometimes I get undressed for dinner

Stay up all hours of the night

Have my breakfast with my lunch

Well you know it can be fun

Sometimes, Sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes you take a letter

And you post it in a box

You assume that

It will get there

Even though the last you sent got lost

How tragic it would be if here and now

Ooh all optimism disappeared

Replaced by something less endowed

Sometimes I'm up in heaven

When you hold me in your arms

Sometimes I'm up at seven

To the sound of my alarm

Sometimes I read about the third world

And the hunger there you find

Sometimes love it can be blue

Red or green and yellow too

Sometimes love is in the air

It's a crazy world I swear

Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, sometimes

Sometimes, sometimes

CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT

Hello...ooh, is Mary there?

No!

Well, if you see Mary

Will you tell her I called?

Tell her that I love her

And I'm sorry that's all

You see we had our very first quarrel today

I got really angry and I slapped her face

Now I'm sorry but what can I say

I love her so much

I can't think straight

My name is Peggy and I know how you feel

Same thing that happened to you did to me

I was so upset I couldn't sleep for a week

Finally he called boy was I relieved

Now I'm sorry but what can I say

You love her much you can't think straight

Love her much you can't think

What about people other than me?

What about those with nothing to eat?

How can I claim that life isn't fair?

What a pathetic sight I swear

If I could kick I'd kick

Myself of course and if

Listen to me look I know what I'm saying

I'm sure Mary is as much to blame

Well in that case

Why won't she answer the phone?

Don't try and tell me

She's not at home

I'm sorry but what can I say

I'm sorry but what can  I say

(We're sorry but what can we say)

I love her so much I can't think

What are we doing?

What have we done?

What in the world is going on?

Isn't it crazy looking so fine

Knowing that in as much time

As it takes to make a drink

We could all become as the dinosaur has

Nothing but extinct

And to top it all I hear

(That my rent is to be raised)

So if you see Mary

Will you tell her I called

Tell her that I love her

And I'm sorry that's all

And by the way thank you for being so kind

If I've taken up too much of your time

I'm sorry but what I can say

I'm sorry but what I can say

(We're sorry but what can we say)

I love her so much

I can't think

Love her so much

I can't think straight

AIN'T NO TELLING (WHAT TOMORROW WILL BRING)

Always when you think about it, nothing goes

Quite the way you wish it would do

Even when you think that you have got it made

Someone else has gone and made it too

Usually the first thing you do each day

Isn't different to the last

Even if the same things are happening here

That have happened in the past

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Or which way it's gonna go

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

But you can be there (be there)

After the day before

Never mind the weather if the sun don't shine

Well and good and good if it's clear

Seems to me we'd all be at a loss for words

If the weather was to disappear

Losing isn't always a pretty sight

Especially when you go for gold

Still it's only one jump in your life

And with many more to unfold

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Or which way it's gonna go

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Just like in Norway (Norway)

There's Nor-way you could know

I wonder what would happen

If all the hills were flattened

And somebody requested a push

How would they go about it

Without a hill I doubt it

A push however hard is enough

Even if a push came to shove

Making all the right moves in excess

Doesn't mean your race is won

Even if your right shoe is on your left

Even if your left's undone

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Or which way it's gonna go

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

But you can be there (be there)

After the day before

(There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring)

Or which way it's gonna go

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

(That's why we love it so)

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Could be I don't know

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

Will it be sunshine (sunshine), showers (showers)

A basket of flowers

There's no way you could know

(There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring)

Or which way it's gonna go

There ain't no telling what tomorrow will bring

I WISH I COULD CRY

Day by day

Someone we really love

Seems to feel the pain

We're always thinking of

But you know

If only we were the men

That we're supposed to be

It wouldn't happen again

I wish I could cry

I wish I could cry

I wish I could cry today

I wish I could die

I wish I could die

I do wish I'd die away

Now I fear

We must accept the fact

That what happened here

Was simply a vicious act

And you know

I just can't help wondering how

Long it will be before

Somebody else must bow

I wish I could cry

I wish I could cry

I wish I could cry today

I wish I could die

I wish I could die

I do wish I'd die away

I wish I could cry

I wish I could cry