SO WHAT

I was born and raised in Alabama

Well it sounds better than Leeds

Mama said the sooner you grow up

The sooner you can leave

And thus I came into existence

What else can I tell you

I could reminisce about the kiss

That really blew my mind

I could demonstrate how when I was eight

I celebrated nine

I could be young I might be old

I could be and if so

So what

Got my finger on the trigger

Whatever that's supposed to mean

Got my thumb caught in between the door

After which I screamed

It only hurts now when I suck it

What else can I tell you

Well its very sad to think you had

More money than good sense

Now you've lost it all you're back to call

On me you're oldest friend

I'm not a man who minces words

And if that sounds absurd

So what

Even if it's likely to become the flavour of the year

Demonstrating for the right to work is work that is sincere

There ain't no pride in being idle

What else can I tell you

Well I've been described as looking like a nothing of a man

Had my work reviewed by critics who dismiss me out of hand

They say I'm middle of the road

I say if that is so

So what

_{_________________________________________}

IF I START WITH THE CHORUS

If I start with the chorus as I progress with this song

Even though it's arse over backwards

Sometimes it pays to be wrong

When your life is in a turmoil be it sad or incomplete

No use crying over spilt milk, spilt milk

Think like a cat and be pleased

This is the verse this is the sound of my life

And I for one can't take it

Funny how things just go from bad to worse

It never stops until it really hurts, really hurts, really hurts

When your life is in a turmoil be it sad or incomplete

Think of those worse off than you perhaps, you perhaps

Might give some kind of relief

This is the verse this is the sound of my life

And I for one can't take it

(You know she's not she's all cracked up to be)

(You're better off without her wait and see, wait and see, wait and see) 

If I start with the chorus as I progress with this song

Even though it's arse over backwards

Sometimes it pays to be wrong

_{_________________________________________}

WHAT AM I DOING HERE WITH YOU

I do my best to please you

You know I would never leave you

Or would I ever let you down

Whenever we are parted

I get so broken hearted

However silly that may sound

I think you're something special

That's why I would like to settle

Once and for all this silly feud

You say I love another

But girl if I love another tell me

What am I doing here with you

I've been to far off places

I've seen all kinds of faces

A few of which I've even come to know

I've had my share of romance

Right from the days of holding hands

Up to as far as you can go

That's why with you it's different

That's why I'm pleading innocent

To the charges you believe are true

You say I love another

But girl if I love another tell me

What am I doing here with you

How can you sit there telling me where I have been

I don't believe that this is real must be a dream

They say there comes a time in everyone's life

When the right thing to do seems wrong

Baby I love you, you know I do

So tell me what's going on

Tell me what's going on

How could you ever doubt me

Is there something about me

That makes you feel the way you do

You say I love another

But girl if I love another tell me

What am I doing here with you

I do my best to please you

You know I would never leave you

Or would I ever let you down

Whenever we are parted

I get so broken hearted

However silly that may sound

I think you're something special

That's why I would like to settle

Once and for all this silly feud

You say I love another

But girl if I love another tell me

Tell me, tell me

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

What am I doing here with you

_{_________________________________________}

STICK IN THE MUD

Roll out the barrel bring in the beer

Hell bent for leather rousing good cheer

Don't let your best friend down

He wouldn't like it to be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one 

Right up this ladder write down this note

Dear sir or madam pardon my quote

And while we're about it please

Let's have no more of this carry on

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

And anytime I see your face

I'm reminded of a meal I once had

Boy it was really good to look at

But it sure tasted bad

Don't be a stuck in the mud

Hang out your window sit on your floor

Don't let it get up not like before

When it sat down on you

Who would have thought it could be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

And anytime I see your face

I'm reminded of a meal I once had

Boy it was really good to look at

But it sure tasted bad

Don't be a stuck in the mud

So roll out the barrel bring in the beer

Hell bent for leather rousing good cheer

Don't let your best friend down

He wouldn't like it to be done

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

Don't be a stick in the mud

Be a little cleaner one

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

 (Don't be) stick in the mud

_{_________________________________________}

THE WAY THINGS USED TO BE

I look at your face and I see it's red

You got a lot on your plate that is in your head

You think that money's ok but it ought to grow on trees

And when I say why don't you plant a coin

You say I'm being sarcastic and that you're goin'

See how a silly remark can cause a lot of tears

And people don't know what we're going through

They think if nothing is right it can't be true

They have an image of us that only they can see

The way things used to be

Used to be

Used to be

I look at your heart and I see it's gone

There's nothing beating inside not even a drum

It doesn't matter I daresay as long as you can breathe

And when I say is that beef Wellington

You say I've told you goddamnit bourguignon

See how a silly mistake can cause a lot of grief

And like it or not it's a sad affair

We never talk anymore go out anywhere

It's like a different world to the one of you and me

The way things used to be

The way things used to be

Used to be

The way things used to be

Not so long ago

When we were young and free

The way things used to be

Not so long ago

You were loving me

Every night and every day strong in every way

Passion glowing like a fire burning with desire

Whatever happened

I look at your face and I see it's long

You've got one hell of a cheek saying nothing's wrong

You think I like it when friends are reluctant to appear

And when I say why don't you tell me straight

You say I'm losing my temper and that you hate

See how an over-reaction causes so much fear

And when I get home after being away

You know I've only one thought for the coming day

I wish that in between fighting we could stop and see

The way things used to be

The way things used to be

The way things used to be

The way things used to be

The way things used to be

_{_________________________________________}

I DON'T TRUST MEN WITH EARRINGS IN THEIR EARS

If you don't mind me saying so then why do you object

Are you frightened of something you'll hear

Have you no inhibitions are you basically shy

And not what you appear

Got a good mind to tell you what a bad boy I've been

But I'm not sure you'll be all that pleased

Funny how being unfaithful often makes us realise

How foolish we can be

Here's to the child who applied for a divorce

Said his parents were not up to much

Once upon a time used to be children

Now there are just adults

And I don't trust men with earrings in their ears

Or women who look like they're men

I trust only those who are true to themselves

And God knows there aren't too

Many of them

In a manner of speaking reminiscent of Greek

You could say "hold my heart" and I will

If it pleases you no doubt I'll gladly oblige

It would be a thrill

You ask for directions you say it's a road

With houses on either side

Well I don't want to shatter your illusions

But I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to try

And I don't trust men with earrings in their ears

Or women who look like they're men

I trust only those who are true to themselves

And God knows there aren't too

Many of them

Here's to the child who applied for a divorce

Said his parents were driving him nuts

Once upon a time used to be children

Now there are just adults

And I don't trust men with earrings in their ears

Or women who look like they're men

I trust only those who are true to themselves

And God knows there aren't too

Many of them

Many of them

And I don't trust men with earrings in their ears

Or women who look like they're men

I trust only those who are true to themselves

And God knows there aren't too

Many of them

_{_________________________________________}

LOST A FRIEND

When you read about somebody special

Who has met an untimely end

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

And to all the cynics who think Lennon

Only cared about what he could spend

I say to hell with you and your money fixations

Feels like we've lost a friend

And when I die as I must do

I know it's an awful thing to talk about

And I'd give anything for it never to be true

What a way to make a living digging graves

Still you'd never need to fear being made redundant that way

And for those of you who think that Presley

Only cared about what he could spend

Remember that without him might have been no Lennon

Feels like we've lost a friend

And when I die as I must do

I Know it's an awful thing to talk about

And I'd give anything for it never to be true

If it's any consolation money buys

Only material things no way can it extend your life

When you read about somebody special

Who has met an untimely end

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

Although you didn't even know them personally

Feels like you've lost a friend

_{_________________________________________}

FOREVER WONDERING

I woke up late this morning

That's the second lime this week

If my boss finds out I'm late again

He's sure to make me leave

Is there no end to my worries

I'm forever wondering

My girlfriend's name is Susan

We got engaged last march

She was killed while getting off a bus

At the top of marble arch

What did she do to deserve this

I'm forever wondering

Let me say that right away

Whatever you might think

I am not about to lose my mind

Although I might feel that way inclined

I'm not the type, no head for heights

You think you got your troubles

Well just take a look at mine

Must be the first pedestrian

To receive a parking fine

Is there no-end to my worries

I'm forever wondering

I'm forever wondering

How can you sit there and say things like

Boy you're looking good

When I feel like something the cat brought in

Not that I don't like cats why I think

Yours would look great on a curry plate

I've got this slight infection

Thought was in my head

When I asked my doctor what it was

He said " I don't know myself"

Is there no end to my worries

I'm forever wondering

I'm forever wondering

I'm forever wondering

I'm forever wondering

I'm forever wondering

_{_________________________________________}

AT THE VERY MENTION OF YOUR NAME

At the very mention of your name

I get shivers down my back and in my brain

The parts that used to function normally

Are now as you can see

Acting very strange

At the very mention of your name

Don't know why but if I were tied up in chains

I would somehow be released

All problems too would cease

My heart would never feel no pain

At the very mention of your name

At the very moment you arrive

I stop living and I start to feel alive

You have the power that's taken over me

Led me to believe

Call it what you like

At the very moment you arrive

I suspect that I will pinch myself to find

That it really isn't true

It really can't be you

Walking up the garden drive

At the very moment you arrive

And although it's been said well over a thousand times

Here's a thousand more

Will you still be mine forever and evermore?

At the very mention of your name

What am I to do and who am I to blame

The effect upon my life can only be described

A bit like being hit by a train

At the very mention of your name

_{_________________________________________}

All lyrics and music by Gilbert O'Sullivan